This morning, I can’t stop thinking about the disconnect between the online and real world. Could this be because I’m currently reading World Leader Pretend (by local Portland author James Bernard Frost), which is about characters escaping their disappointing lives and choosing to spend all of their free time in World of Warcraft-esque online worlds instead, where they have a much higher chance of being successful? Yeah, okay, that is part of it. I would like to believe that I don’t relate to that plot very much, but I work from home and 99% of my interaction with my friends is through Facebook and Twitter status updates, blog posts, and occasional emails. And 1/4 of those friends are people I’ve never met in person. I’d much rather be meeting up with all of my pals at a local restaurant, or flying my family down to Texas a couple of times a year, but I can’t afford that right now. I can barely afford groceries.
So it’s a real problem in my life that my friends and I continue to maintain pleasant, downright chirpy online personas while many of us are going through hardships in our personal lives, since I am depending on that form of communication to know what’s going on with them. Why am I tweeting about LOST when I don’t know how I’ll make the next mortgage payment? Do I need everything to look the same to the outside viewer to maintain my sanity as I struggle through one of the hardest times I’ve ever faced, or would it be so much better if I could just commiserate with people? We are all going through this. If you still have the job that you had two years ago, bully to you, but statistics tell me that most of you don’t. So why aren’t we talking about it online?
8 Responses to “The Depressing One”
I wonder this sometimes too, though maybe I have a few more friends who post depressing status updates… It’s also hard for me right now to feel right blogging/complaining/etc knowing how hard a time people are having with their bills and job security, and with all the horrible things going on in the world. I felt totally disgusted working out at the Y the other night while watching horrific images on the news from Haiti. There is such a terrible disconnect between many people’s realities, and I’m not really sure how to process it right now. Too much thinking and I’ll be sucked into a dark place where I do nothing, which isn’t going to be any more help.
I really hope you are able to sort through the difficult time you’re having right now, and if there’s anything I can do as an internet friend, lemme know. I’ll be thinking of you <3
I do belong to a forum (besides ppk) where people who have known each other for nearly 10 years share the realness of their lives, daily. I know there are more. I don’t use fb (in fact, I deleted my account) and prefer the more private, password-protected forum for personal info. The web has been a tremendous boon for people who are homebound due to illness (such as AIDs) or dealing with things like cancer; they can find others who are similar, deal with issues with that terrific support. Maybe the answer for you is that you CAN talk about it online – in fact, you are, and your post might help others to also share their more real experiences.
Best to you, Joanna. I’m sorry it’s so damn hard.
cara
I hear ya. I’m uncomfortable opening up about my very private life online, aside from emails and the occasional vague private twitter update. I also think the internet is the new reality tv. I also heart you.
I started thinking about this a lot lately as I’ve tried to simplify a lot of things in my life and figure it out, but my thinking was specifically geared toward my RL friends who never want to discuss the reality of things. I think it comes down to denial: not wanting to admit how bad they are doing, and how much worse it might get.
As far as life online goes, I guess nobody wants to seem like they’re a downer, but I never assume my pals are being downers when they talk about things like that. I guess for every person who says something nice and thoughtful, there’s a person who wants to argue with you because they have their own views about how you should be spending your time/money/etc. I just witnessed (uh, well, read on Facebook…) one of my friends talking about not being able to find a job and paying her car insurance when one of her “friends” commented that “maybe she should get off the Internet, stop complaining and do something about it.” I mean, REALLY? How is that productive?
Okay, I’m rambling. But basically, like A-K said, if there’s anything I can do as an online friend, please let me know. Thinking of you and your family!
i think people are trying to escape. be more cheerful cyborgs. It is real sad.
dearest poo poo,
i think there is a big disconnect in the real world, too–though not as huge as the one we see online. i agree with veganmegan, the world is so sad, and people are just trying to get by. i say, keep it real. i will always be honest with you, you be with me too.
xo kittee
not to be overly flippant here, but my level 80 human rogue would like a word with you.
hugs, girl. hang in there.
[...] my frustration yesterday, I pulled a classic Joanna, which is to say that I oversimplified what I know to be a complicated [...]