Hoppin’ John Cakes
serves 3-4

Be sure to use short grain rice here: the extra starch is essential in the recipe for helping the cakes hold their shape.  If you can’t find short grain brown rice, sushi or arborio rice will do well as a substitute.
1 cup uncooked short grain brown rice
3 cups cooked black eyed peas or drained and rinsed canned
2 tablespoons chopped pickled jalapeno or 1 tablespoon hot sauce
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon liquid smoke
3/4 cup chopped onion
1/4 cup fresh parsley, chopped
1/2 cup vital wheat gluten
olive or peanut oil for frying

Cook the rice according to the directions on the package and set aside.

In a large bowl, combine black eyed peas, jalapenos or hot sauce, olive oil, salt, and liquid smoke. Use a potato masher or your hands to mash the peas, just until they’re starting to stick together and clump up – about half of the peas should still be whole. Stir in the cooked brown rice, onion, and parsley, and now really get in there with your (clean!) hands and mush everything together until it’s uniform. Be sure to use your hands only — do not under any circumstances use a food processor or other device, as this will turn everything to useless mush.

Finally, stir in the vital wheat gluten and use your hands to mix it in well. This should take the consistency to the point where if you form a patty with your hands, it stays in the patty shape very easily. If it doesn’t do that, work it for another minute or so and it should stick together better.

Heat a thin layer of oil in a large skillet until it is bubbling slightly but not spitting. This will probably be medium-low,  but depending on how heavy your skillet is and which oil you use, it could be lower or higher. Make a 2 sheet  layer of paper towels on a large plate next to the skillet.

Form patties with your hands that are about 1/2″ thick and 3″ across — a little smaller than the the size of your  palm. Lay them gently in the oil, fitting as many patties as you feel comfortable having in the skillet at once. After a few minutes, check one of the patties for color: you want to flip it when it’s uniformly golden brown on the bottom. Use that timing to gauge how long the rest will take to get to the right coloring on both sides of the patties.

When both sides are cooked, transfer to the paper towels to drain. Serve warm.

If you come over, be ready to read a book to Milo

The first is that I’ve started a new blog: Is There a Giraffe? I will be reviewing some of Milo’s (and my) favorite children’s books. There will be strong emphasis on vintage and lesser-known titles. I won’t be able to stop myself from singing the praises of the greats now and again—particularly Maurice Sendak and Richard Scarry, two of my favorites—but since they get so much love elsewhere, I’d like to draw attention to a few of the many underappreciated children’s writers out there. Please check it out if you’re so inclined! I’ll be building it out a little more over the hoildays and adding a few entries before the new year.

The second is that I’ve done the layout for the next issue of my zine, and I have a couple of blank pages. For layout purposes, my pagecount needs to be a multiple of 4. Rather than trying to create filler for those pages, I’ve decided to offer it as ad space. The first issue of my zine has already sold over 100 copies and has only been out for a little over a month, so this would be a great way to get exposure for your small business or Etsy store. Quarter-page ads are $15, half-page ads are $25, and full-page ads are $40. Please let me know if you’re interested—include some information about your business, please, as I want to be sure that your business is in line with my ethics so that I’m not unwittingly pimping porn in the back of my zine. I like to wittingly pimp porn, thank you very much.